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November 21st, 2009

a loose translation

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A translation of psalm 150, in which I try to retain what it is, and put it in language my students will understand. This will (hopefully) answer the question that I got the other week: "What are Psalms?"

Psalm 150

Hallelujah!
Praise God in his holy place

Halleluhu! Praise Him in the sky!
Halleluhu! Praise Him for his mighty acts!
Halleluhu! Praise Him for his greatness!

Halleluhu! Praise Him with blasts of the horn!
Halleluhu! Praise Him with harps and violins!
Halleluhu! Praise Him with tambourines and dancing!
Halleluhu! Praise Him with guitars and flutes!

Halleluhu! Praise Him with sounds you listen to.
Halleluhu! Praise Him with the sounds you make.

All that breath should praise the Lord.
Hallelujah!

November 18th, 2009

Writer's Block: Book review

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Not ever. Full stop.

If you are worried about a particular kid, or a particular book, you can approach them and talk about the content, help them process is a bit. But absolutely no books should be out-of-bounds.

November 15th, 2009

an interesting study...

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This study done in what seems to be a thorough fashion and published in a peer-reviewed journal finds that in Houston, if you hire a lawyer you don't get the death penalty. if you're too poor to hire a lawyer though, you are quite likely to get killed. eek!

October 15th, 2009

Oh it always rains on laundry day
That's a solid fact
Yes it always rains on laundry day
Just when I'm in the act

Of laundering on laundry day
it's one of life's hard knocks
that it always rains on laundry day
just when I'm out of socks!

I'd put it off a day or two
but my dresser it says "no
If you put it off for a day or two
then bare I'm afraid you must go"

The weather, it varies on any other day
Winter, summer or spring
But it's always the same on laundry day
It's enough to make me sing!

About the rain on laundry day
How unfair can you get
I quickly wash and dry my clothes
Just in time to get them wet

Oh it always rains on laundry day
That's a solid fact
Yes it always rains on laundry day
Just when I'm in the act

Of laundering
on
Laun-dry daaaay!

 

September 25th, 2009

(no subject)

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It makes me ridiculously happy that Glee plugged school libraries in the last episode. "Did you know that at the library you can borrow their books? As many as you want? All of them--except for the encyclopedia.  

September 11th, 2009

(no subject)

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The state is shutting down ALL philadelphia libraries, unless something is done now! http://libwww.freelibrary.org/closing/ please contact your state rep.

September 10th, 2009

Electric trees

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Check this! Trees give off a bit of energy, at least enough to power monitoring-the-trees devices!

August 24th, 2009

friends

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You never know what will happen when you invite all your reasonably geographically close friends to visit for the weekend.  Come see Curlybopbop and me this Shabbat!  Ridiculosity is bound to ensue.

April 2nd, 2009

Imagine this: you take out your cool yuppie stroller. It's got a coffee holder, a sippy cup holder, places for your purse and diaper bag, a little pocket you keep your purelle in. Oh, and a spot for your kid. Preferably zipped into a miniature sleeping bag that snaps into the stroller seat. Don't forget the air purifier to put by little bobby's head so he doesn't breath too many fumes.

All this already exists, you say. How can I get something new? Something better than what the neighbors got last season? And then you know. This walking thing is overdone. Why should you walk while your kid get's all the rides? That's right ladies and gentleman, step onto this small platform on the back. Indicate that you wish to stop, start or turn by leaning. We've just invented the segway stroller. 

March 26th, 2009

(no subject)

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Not to be too much of a bleeding heart, but
www.theseminal.com/2008/12/06/the-visa-commercial-id-like-to-see/
Does anyone know whether these numbers are for real? I'd really like to know.

March 11th, 2009

Yesterday J was a killer whale. The following are some of the benefits of caring for a 4-year-old boy who is a killer whale:
- They eat a lot, and are much less picky than boys usually are.
- They LOVE swimming lessons. Boys often drag their feet about them.
- They jump around a lot, and enjoy themselves.
- they rest when they are tired, whereas boys usually fight it to the bitter end.

Cons:
- Whales apparently push their friends to say "let's play"
- Whales are sad that they aren't in Sea World with their buddy Shamu

All in all, pretty awesome. I had a great time taking care of a killer whale yesterday. Now let's consider the alternatives. Today, J went through three animals. Right out of school, he was a rattlesnake.
Pros:
- rattlesnakes make a lot of hissing and rattling sounds, and also wiggle quite a bit.
- they say hi to everyone on the street. Granted, the greeting sounds like a rather violent hiss, but a friendly wave goes along with it, and most people understood that the intentions were friendly.

Cons:
- "I'm rattling because I'm angry." "why are you angry J?" "I'm not angry, it's just that rattlesnakes are mad at everyone, and I'm mad." Further pushing yielded no clearer answer.
- rattlesnakes bite, or attempt to. I'm getting better at keeping the kids from hurting each other
- rattlesnakes only eat "birds and small mammals. What's a mammal?" So lunch was a no-go.
- rattlesnakes are upset about not visiting the desert today.

Then he was a mad spider. Again, with the anger. Also spiders climb things to jump off them and hate it if you move their webs (aka lap blankets carefully spread over the floor).

After that came this: "I'm a wild shark. All sharks are wild, and mad. And they kill you and bite you. RARRRRRRR!" Well, at least sharks will consent to eat their dinners.

So even though rattlesnakes are friendly to strangers, I'll stick to the killer whales, please. And I really wish that spiders, sharks or rattlesnakes could tell me what was making them so angry.

December 23rd, 2008

annoying songs meet psalms

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I had a great realization today. In making it, I am channeling ML.

Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer - a short summary of the story for those of you who have not been shopping in the last three months is as follows: Rudolf has a shiny nose, and because he looks different no one will play with him. Santa, however, thinks his nose is terrific and puts him in the front when it comes time to pull the sleigh. 

Psalm 118: "The stone which has been scorned by the builders will become the cornerstone." Which in context is a metaphor for the Jewish people. But...

Rudolf is really the scorned stone! And Santa is a God stand in, we all knew that.

August 25th, 2008

Why your child can't read

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Consider this word:
    Won

Phonetically, it should be pronounced as you do "won-ton," but of course it is most commonly pronounced "wun." Now consider this word:
    One

Again, if you sound it out, remembering that "the silent 'e' makes the vowel say it's name," it should rhyme with the word "cone." Say that word to yourself, the word that rhymes with "cone." You've just said another word of the English language. Care to spell it? that's right:
    Own

Now read that word phonetically. It should by all rights rhyme with the word "town."

The moral of the story is that reading English is a hard thing to learn. Don't ever underestimate the amount of effort that it takes.

In the meantime, how do you help a child learn to read? Read to your kid. Novels as well as picture books. And read yourself. Tell your kid: "In a minute, I have to finish this chapter." Modeling is important.

August 8th, 2008

(no subject)

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A scene from last night:

A creak at the door of the B's (my employers) house. The father tiptoes in. He whispers, mouths even, "Hi." "Hi," I reply in a perfectly normal range voice. "How are, where are..." He looks confused. "They're upstairs." "Asleep?" I sense disbelief. "Yes, asleep." "Wow. Um, do you want a ride home?"

So apparently they didn't think I could actually put their little terror to sleep. Little did they know, I have super powers.

April 28th, 2008

Pythagorian sedarim

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To those of you who have heard me rant about this recently, no need to read further. But I wanted to write this idea out before letting go of it. I’d been working on it over Passover, and Passover is now over, so now seems a good time to do so.

As you may or may not know, the Passover seder in its formal ritual form was modeled on the Greek symposiim. A symposium was a dinner and drinking party mixed with philosophical discussion. The leader of the symposium, literally called “the mixer,” both decreed the topic of conversation and mixed the wine, thus controlling how drunk everyone got.

This tidbit of knowledge, tying the seder to Ancient Greek tradition, is not a new connection. Many have done so before me. They have pointed to the afikomen for proof. The word afikomen has it’s roots in the Greek epi, meaning after, and koman, meaning meal. So you see, it’s no new thing that we have drawn from Greek tradition to create the Passover seder. But I do have something new to add.

The Pythagorians were a mystery cult in Ancient Greece. They centered their lives around the teachings of their leader, Pythagoras. Pythagoras is said to have had a golden thigh. He is also said to have merited a boon from the gods at the end of one of his lives. He asked for the power to remember each of his lives as he went on to the next ,and thus acquired great wisdom. Pythagoras famously taught both men and women, and there were both male and female Pythagorians in clergy-type positions. Many of his teachings were of numbers and shapes, for the Pythagorians believed (much as we moderns do) that a thorough understanding of mathematics would allow one to grasp the underlying principles of the universe.

Among these numbers, a couple stood out as special. The number 4 is an example of a number that Pythagorians saw as special. For one thing, fours dictated passages of time. There are four seasons , four stages of human life (infancy, childhood, adulthood, old age), and so on. For another, a triangle with a base of 4 is comprised of ten segments. For an illustration of this, see below:

   1             1
  11         +2
 111        +3
1111      +4
              =10

And ten was a very important number. This triangle, often with decorative borers, is found on Pythagorean jewelry, and seems to have been used as a good luck charm.

The compilers of the seder knew of a story that had important tens in it: that of the Jews leaving Egypt. That story is bookended with tens. Ten plagues start us off, and ten commandments bring us into freedom as a people to create our own hierarchy. (Or Gods, if you want to get picky.) And they knew what important number went with ten: four. They knew this because they lived concurrently with Neo-Pythagorians, who lived by many of the same invectives as the Classical Pythagoreans discussed above.

And so the Passover seder they formalized is broken into four stages with four cups of wine. The youngest opens up discussion with four questions. We discuss four sons, we break each plague into four components. I rest my case.  

Happy Freedom!

December 17th, 2007

font hell

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Please, give unto mine eyes anything but Times New Roman. Anything but the soft glow of my monitor and the disturbingly productive sound of the ticking keyboard.
Please, half my kingdom for the release. Give me the driest of essays in Comic Sans, the humorless prose of a gibbering and angsty teenager in Arial, or better yet in an Old English style font, printed onto real paper.
Please, give unto mine eyes anything that is not Times New Roman.  
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